31 weeks....

If I were still pregnant, yesterday I would have received my weekly email from BabyCenter, telling me how big and developed my growing baby is as well as the changes in my body. It starts out as a poppyseed and makes his/her way up to a cantaloupe. This week, I learned he should be about 3.3 lbs, about the size of 4 navel oranges and 16 inches long! Fortunately, Miles was ahead of normal development and was 3.5 lbs and 16 inches 10 days ago.

If I were pregnant, I would still be alternating between calling him Amelia and Miles - (we didnt find out his sex), Dave and I would have enjoyed a last "babymoon" in Hawaii instead of a week in the hospital and I'd still be working at Vinfolio, rather than going back and forth to the hospital. Miles would have grown so much in the womb so that I couldnt see my toes or move around comfortably. He'd of turned around from his breech position at 34-35 weeks, allowing a normal birth in early February and gone straight home with us. He would never have been hooked up to wires and beeping monitors and been subjected to a changing cadre of nurses that poke and prode him while he sleeps. That is how it should have been.

But life is not what it should be. We instead, relish, our 3 lb son and are in awe over his progress. Yesterday, the nurse asked me if I was in the medical field - I laughed. Not even close. But I did impress her with my knowledge and comfort in handling him. Who knew!

Yesterday, Miles lost his IV so he is 100% being fed on breast milk. He is already at the maximum amount per feed - 30 ml, through a tube through his mouth directly to his stomach. Now it is just a game of fattening him up so he can maintain his temperature outside the isolette (fancy name for incubator). He is becoming more alert and interactive. He likes to grip onto my fingers and when I started to leave yesterday, he only tightened his grasp (see picture). He also moves his hands around, covering his ears and eyes from lights and sounds.

I am treasuring this moments...these extra 10 weeks, I would have enjoyed his kicks in my growing belly...but we are lucky, he does well, so perhaps its a gift of just more time, before he grows up and doesnt need us so much.