Progress

Miles had a couple good accomplishments today. Most important to us, the IVF (clotting on his ventriculars) has begun to resolve itself as it should. I spoke to his pediatrician about this and she is optimistic that there will not be long term effects but as much as I wanted her to, she wouldn't give a guarantee. And second, he has finally exceeded his birth weight by a whopping ounce and is a fighting 3.6 lbs. Now its grow time until he is allowed to be in an open crib!

He continues to have the occassional self resolved Brady that concern me but I am consistently reminded by the nurses that is normal and expected. As one nurse put it, if he were having 20+ a day, we might be worried, but his number maybe 3 a day. "It's normal" is a hard concept to remember in the NICU especially when the patients are so tiny and seemingly delicate. It is what we remind ourselves regardless of how scary the terms the doctors or nurses throw at us.

When I first went into the hospital at 28 weeks, the worst case scenario was that I delivered right then but I knew Miles was viable so I didn't worry that much. Even after I talked to a friend who'd had a baby at 30.5 weeks a year before, I thought he would just be fine. The time in the NICU would just help him grow up until we brought him home. Now I understand not wishing this on anyone. Yes, he is doing great. We are fortunate for that but throw in raging hormones, daily doctor reports, feeding tubes, screaming monitors, fear of the future, driving back and forth, no parking, constant pumping and it brings you to tears.

I am not a very religious person but there are times I believe that higher powers bring you events or people in your life at critical junctures. That is how I see the mother who's son, born a week after Miles and in the spot right next to him in the NICU. She has become a welcome friend to see every day while we hold our babies or pump - we share our progress and fears, complain about the nurses, wonder about juggling career with a preemie, etc. And yesterday, when it became too much, it was her that stepped in with a needed hug.